partners, the good and the bad

An excellent partner in this job can make an amazing difference, especially when it comes to the crazy scenes or handeling a crazy patient.

This past week I have been working shifts that will ultimately not be mine..filling in for people who are off, etc. I've had more than one partner and I've definately had more than one type of partner. One day I was working with another new medic, we were actually in medic class together these last two years. Two new medics together could be a scary thing but she actually has about 6 years of street experience as a basic and advanced tech. The neat thing was that we worked really well together. Many of our patients actually asked us how long we have worked together because of the raport we seemed to have projected. Even a local fire engine company asked us how long we had known each other. I guess part of it came from being in class together and trusting each other after all that time.

On the other hand...

I also worked a couple shifts with a medic who's been a medic for a few years now. I have nothing critical to say about his patient care; he never did anything to endanger a patient or me. We all have our own styles and mine and his are different. What got me is that I started stressing that some of his behavior was going to get me in trouble with the boss. In the end nothing happened, but I still was stressed. The story?

Well, we did a long distance trasport to a VA clinic about 3 hours away. I was in back with a psych patient on the way there. He drove. After the transport, he stated he would drive the first part back because there was a restaurant not too far away he wanted to stop at for food. Okay, no big deal and it was nice of him to drive longer. It's now 9pm and our shift ends at 2am. Dispatch knows we are three hours away, but they expect a little bit of leeway for us to stop for fast-food, fuel or restrooms. A bit down the road he makes the exit for the place he want to go. Now, I notice there is nothing near the off-ramp. The town is actually 15 miles or so from the highway...not too big a deal yet because he seems to know where he is going. We get to the town, and I become aware that my partner is clueless on where he is going and is unwilling to just turn around and go back. We eventually made many turns, drove many miles and ended up on a different highway..and it is now 10pm..and still no food. He calls dispatch to let them know "we are just leaving the VA Clinic"! I talk him into drving another hour down the road..closer to home. He then stops and demands that he will not eat fast-food because he can "get that at home anytime" and pulls into a Chili's restaurant. Buy this time I am tired and grumpy from not eating all day. I go in with him, order only an appetizer and talk him into doing the same...yet his was a special order..wanted a triple order of buffalo wings....so we then have to wait for the food. We eat quickly and then get some fuel for the truck at a truck-stop. I drive the rest of the way home at a speed I really shouldn't be going at. We get back into our home county at 1am on the dot...I amazed myself at how fast we traveled, but there were only trucks on the road and it was late night..I just set the cruise and went for it. The supervisor did not comment at all. I think the thing was that there was a shift change while we were gone and this supervisor had no clue when we actually left. Dispatch could have looked, but it appears nobody ever did. The thing that gets me here is that I am the new guy and I do not want to piss off the "older" medics, but I do not like dishonesty especially in the field I work in...honesty is not just important, it is critical. But, I also got frustrated at his inability to give up on his quest for a meal at a Boston Market of all things and then for him to stop at a Chili's after we were already much later than we should have been.

I know part of my annoyance on this was because I was tired of being on the highway and needed to eat. But, this was just the last issue after many hints that this guy was not someone I wanted to work with long-term. What worries me is that he is good friend with the guy I am going to be partner's with for the next 4 months.....I'll let you know what happens there after I work with him for a bit.

My next shift is my first where I am on a Medic/Tech truck. No double-medic, just me in charge. Then the shift after that I will be on my normal 6p-6a rotation with my normal partner and double-medic again.

No really good runs to talk about. LOTS of Pysch patients and the rest were mostly breathers.

I did have one Manic Bi-Polar lady tell my parter that I was cute. Funny/Scary to have an old bi-polar lady trying to bat her eyelash (singular) at you while she is crazy manic. My partner (the female good partner I had) actually used it as a conversation piece to get her to calm down now and then durning the transport (I drove).

Actually, now that I think of it, there was a full moon recently, wasn't there?

no more down time

I'm finding it hard to post because I am finding that I want to use any spare time I get for sleeping. After two jobs, kids, chores, and the daily little things of life I find that, by the time I am sitting in front of this screen, the main feeling I have is fatigue. More than anything else, I feel that my schedule is full and not about to get any better. I even feel my spare time getting scheduled. Part of this may be the fact that I haven't used my CPAP in over a week and have been snoring a lot and waking just as tired, if not more, when I awake.

My work schedule is in flux at the moment as I am transitioning into my regular rotation. I am the 2nd Medic on a double medic truck (no tech), 6pm-6am. Having a double medic truck is rare in my service because it is so rare to have enough medics to do it. So, I suspect I should savor it while it lasts. This week I am working noon to midnight, also as a second medic. This is to allow other employees to adjust schedules while fitting me in without anyone having a major adjustment all at once...nicer on everyone's sleep schedules.

Now a summary of some of my runs this past week:

Bi-polar female, suicidal and add a bit of whiskey for fun, shake and serve.

93yo female at an assisted living facility with bright red vaginal bleeding.

60ish female with a pustule (sp?) the size of a crab-apple on her chest, between her breasts and oozing.

70ish male with history of COPD among other things approximately 10 minutes from repiratory arrest.

Some other runs too...but they escape me at the moment. Time to do some things around the house before heading to bed.

1st day but not quite

I show up at 0800, my first day as a full-time medic. Anything interesting? Of couse...not.

The service I work for is making me go though the new hire orientation again, even though I worked there for over a year and left under a year ago. The kicker is that during the time I was not working for them, I was there all the time as a medic student...basically working for free.

The orientation consists of paperwork, watching hours of videos, cd-roms w/quizzes, observing dispatch, meeting all the managers, and finally FTO (Field Training Officer) time. Usually this whole process can take a few weeks. I expect to be done Friday afternoon.

The videos were boring but one of the managers signed off that I did not have to watch 99% of them....something about wasting my time. The cd-rom quizzes were ok, mostly because I saved copies of my answers from the last time I took them...nothing like being prepared. The FTO time usually takes at least two weeks, but I have been told I am only having one day, Friday 0400-1600. Meeting with the managers has become the most frustrating part. Partly because they all have voiced the same opinion as me..."Why do I have to go though this?" I don't object to the FTO time, but the rest of this seems like an utter waste of time. I have the last of the manager meetings on 10/13. Getting them to stop long enough to talk to me and even say they don't need to talk to me is getting old.

The things that are still bugging me:

1. I have yet to get any offical idea of what my schedule will be. I will be "released" on Monday, yet I have no idea when I will be working after this Friday. It makes it hard to plan the rest of life with situations like this.
2. I have my uniforms, but the pager is still on order. Pagers are a big deal in this service because that is how I get a lot of information I need to complete my run reports. Not having a pager is a big pain in the .... They knew my start date a month ago...could someone not order a pager just a little earlier than today?
3. The FTO is a great medic and I worked with him as a Tech. But, I am still have a lot of performance anxiety type stress building up here. At least on my first day as a medic I will have another medic there with me. I just hope I get the stamp of approval. I just need to keep telling myself I did it as a student during all the clinical hours, this is just another shift of that.
4. Then the fun shift...some undetermined day next week..my first day on my own, in my own truck with my own tech...time to fly on my own. I'm very excited and nervous at the same time.

143

143=i love you

My wife and I went and saw a movie on our anniversary. Exciting, I know. But, it's nice to have a date night away from the kids no matter what it is. We went and saw Serenity. If you watched the show Firefly, you will like the movie. If you a sci-fi geek you will very likely like the movie. If you are married to a sci-fi geek you might actually like it too. In this case, my wife is the loving spouse of a sci-fi geek who watched the show. Thank you for suggesting this movie so I did not have to.

1432

We may never know...

From my wife's blog:

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

We may never know...
Current mood: sad

We may never know God's plan. And some times it's really hard for us to try to comprehend why certain things happen.

My uncle...my mom's twin... was diagnosed with colon cancer yesterday. He's young, in my opinion... 62. It's already pretty severe. Several tumors in his colon and it's already spread to his liver. The doctor hasn't given him much hope...but he's ok with it. He's ready to go home to God...it's the rest of us who are being selfish. My mom is taking this especially hard. Not only is he her brother...he's her twin. And there are some very serious bonds between twins....I've seen it first hand...it truly is amazing.

My grandmother (who is 96) is extremely upset as well. She doens't understand how God can take her son and leave her on this earth...afterall, she's 96, she says. She just keeps saying it's just not right.

My uncle will know more Thursday, but has already said he won't take any chemo. He believes it's in God's hands and it's just his time. He's not even asking for prayers. He feels it's a waste to ask for things in prayers.... prayers are to be for praise. I'm praying for him anyway. And of course, I'm praying for my mom and grandma and my aunt and cousins.

We may never know God's reasoning for why He does what He does. I just hope that I can be as gracious and ready as my uncle...no matter how hard it is for the ones we leave behind....

For anyone interested in Colorectal Cancer:
http://www.colorectal-cancer.net/

"What is the matter?" she asked…

Sometimes it is not a matter of any one thing making me in a bad mood but rather just a pile up of stuff that just eventually wear me down. None of these issues on their own have gotten me down, but as a whole I think I am just worn-out tonight.

Most of the reasons I list here I take total responsibility for and I know I could correct or avoid on my own. This is not an excuse list but rather me trying to explain my mood of the evening.

I am tired.

I have not eaten well today. As of 9:00PM my total food consumption has consisted of: 1 can of root beer, 1 candy bar, 2 sausage burger patties and a swig of grape juice. I know I should eat better. I really planned on it. This is just how the day turned out.

Work has been putting me though an above average amount of stress. Nothing I could not get through, but made worse by the first two issues above.

I am extremely short on cash.

The past week I have been taking 180mg (per day) of a long-acting Beta-blocker I take rather than my normal about of 240mg. The change is not great in some respects but I have noticed it in others. I am wondering if I am noticing more of the anxiety I would have without the meds or if it is just a side effect of everything else going on in my life right now. Why am I taking less? Because, I need to get my prescription to last a bit longer. Expensive drug that I cannot go all the way off of but I am ok lessening…I need to make sure I have some to get me though any insurance coverage changes coming up. I have discussed it with my doctor and it is OK.

My grandmother called to say that my aunt, grandfather, and she are not going to be able to make it this weekend. My aunt is ill. My son and I are going to be busy Saturday with Cub Scouts. So, they decided that maybe that would try for another weekend. I actually am not surprised by this, I called and talked to my grandmother last weekend to verify they were coming and she would not commit to it. So, I kind of knew then. Tonight was just confirmation. I’d like to see my grandparents. They have not been here since I got married 6 years ago and I have only been back in my hometown a total of a few days in that same time period. I am not really a family person. I am one of those relatives you rarely hear from. But, I am recognizing that everyone is getting older and the number of days I may see my grandparents are getting less and less. “Sad but true.” (Oddly that was a line in a song I am listening to right now.)

Well, other than the headache that goes with the fatigue and not eating, that is the answer to the question of the day. I am not sure if they asked because they cared or because they were frustrated with me. When I do not sleep and eat, my memory of things like future schedules slip out of my brain and I was not remembering things I should know. I also forgot to do normal things like give my son the medications he takes every night. All are good reasons to be frustrated with me. Hopefully I’ll be better after a night’s sleep and a meal.

Go See It Day/tired day/fun & tired day

Sunday: Go See It "Maize Maze"

It was an interesting day. 5 Tiger Cubs plus parents and a few siblings. We all went to a local farm that had a maze in a corn field. I'm pretty sure it does not count as a trip to a farm because it really wasn't anything to do with the farm. But, it sure could count as a hike. We ended walking in the maze for about 45 minutes in 80 degree weather. The maze was Star Wars themed and had quotes from the movies hidden in the maze. We ended up finding 3 of the 7 quotes. Not too bad given we really weren't trying and it was a group mostly of 6 year olds. The farm was also selling some impressive pumpkins and it was the start of tree-tagging season. You can tag the tree you want for Christmas. You can have it dug up on a certain date and then replant it at your home or you have just have it reserved for you to cut down or have them cut it for you. Overall I think they have a pretty cool farm going on out there.

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Monday: Tired Day.

I woke up many times Sunday night during the sleep study. Why is it that my nose itches when I can't get to it. I did keep the mask on all night (the whole 6 hours). There was a heater/humidifier hooked to the hose. I think the condensation on my nose and upper lip is what bugged me the most. I'm not sure how much I slept, but I do know I was very tired when I got up and was tired all day. I ended up going to bed Monday night around 9pm. Very early for me.

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Tuesday: Fun & Tired Day.

Still tired. I think it usually takes a couple days of good sleep...even better a weekend of sleeping in...to catch up from a really bad night. I also did not wear the CPAP all night last night. It's just really irritating. Thank you to the medic who had the link to the other CPAP solution. Neat idea they have there.

Tonight was a fun night though because I got to go out and do something I normally do not do. There is a street fair going on in town and it's a pretty big deal. All the food booths are non-profit groups from the area. I was volunteering for a local nature preserve. I was just the burger cook. But, it was fun. I met some new people and got to socialize and had some really good people watching. There was the full spectrum of people from beauties to "butter faces" (she'd be hot but her face) and then all the toothless-wonders.

I finally got the apple cider I've been craving. I ended up drinking two pints of it. Mmmmm.

One week until I start as a full-time medic!

"...between places at the moment"

This photoblog is on an interesting theme lately. It's all Detroit area pictures, portraits of homeless people. Below the pictures are quotes from the person featured. It's actually quite interesting to take it all in.

If you have a good Internet connection, I recommend this link:
http://www.snowsuit.net/archive/ then just click on the pictures that interest you.

Otherwise go to http://www.snowsuit.net/ and keep clicking on the "Previous Image" link to load the images one at a time.

Make sure to read the quotes.

More daily reading

I am adding the following links to my daily reading routine. Hopefully I'll actually be able to get time to read them.

EMS Haiku
Nicely his entries are not always book length. There are some good pictures and as the name suggests, the occasional haiku.

This other link I just saw tonight. I hope to read more than the one blog at the top sometime soon. This medic just got back from Gulfport and has lots of pictures as part of the post.

Street Watch: Notes of a Paramedic

surprise

I really like a good cold drink of fresh apple cider. It's something I don't get often, usually limited to October of each year. I usually buy the cider made at a local orchard. But, today I was in the store and impulse-bought a jug from a display they had in the produce area. It's not made locally, but I figured it would be good enough to fulfill my craving. Well, it's been in my refrigerator all afternoon. Time for a nice tall glass that I have been waiting for. I chugged down about 12 oz. of the ice cold, brown apple cider before I notice something odd. My stomach is not happy with what it is getting. My nose is now getting a wiff of something odd and my taste-buds are not giving me the reaction I had been expecting. This apple cider is very fermented and I just consumed a pretty big gulp of it. OK, for those of you thinking "hard apple cider", this is not the reaction I had. I've now gone though a few different items in my frig to get the taste out of my mouth and my stomach is still twisting tightly in protest of the treatment it has received.

All I am thinking now is thank goodness that I said no to my son when he wanted a glass with his dinner. He has a sensitive stomach and even more sensitive palette. I don't want to scar his future with such a great thing as apple cider with an experience like this when he is so young.

(tummy grumble grumble)