Sad
For those of you following this. My wife's uncle is getting much worse. Seems is wasn't Colon Cancer but had spread there..along with the liver, and lymph nodes. Maybe it started in the lungs, but it really is not important anymore.
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Here is today's post from my wife:
Final Farewell
Current mood: numb
I said what I believe to be my last goodbye to my uncle yesterday. Hospice has been coming in and last Friday, they changed his life expectancy from another 5 months to 2 weeks. Big change there. It was a devastating blow to the family...although in my heart, I already knew it wouldn't be 6 months to begin with. Cancer, especially in the liver, does not wait that long.
So, yesterday after church and lunch I took the kids on a drive. Drove them around to see the tornado mess...still floors me how bad Newburgh is... and decided to stop by and see my uncle. Two weeks will pass sooner than I realize. What I didn't expect was the drastic change from last week to this week.
Last Saturday he was weak, but still able to move about pretty well. He was talking to us and carrying on conversations. Yesterday, just the mere act of breathing was labored. He sat quietly in his chair. He stared blankly at the floor...glancing every once in a while at the cigarette in his hand to make sure the ash hadn't fallen. His medication is increased, but even Hospice said that he's so stubborn, he'll keep his mind until the last breath. His eyes were very dark and sunken. His skin yellow. His body thin and frail. I'm not sure how much weight he's lost in the last month...but if I were to guess I'd say probably 40 pounds... 40 that he really didn't have to lose.
He had finished a popsicle about 5 minutes before we arrived. We hadn't been there long (maybe another 5 minutes) when he had to get to the bathroom to throw it up. Nothing he eats stays down. Nothing. I just sat there by my cousin...sad. She said she didn't believe he would even make it 2 more weeks. He's been deteriorating at a rate that's hard to believe. It's really the best for him...less suffering...less pain. But it sucks! Apparently he still has some humor left in him. He told my cousin that he's ready and ok to die...it's just getting there that's killing him! -soft smile-
By the time he's coming back out, I decide it's time we leave. He needs his rest. I hug him as he passes me. I tell him, "I love you, Uncle Ronnie." to which he responsds, "I love you too, Dee." And that's when it hit me...I knew I had just seen my uncle for the last time. That was our goodbye.
I broke the rule. I cried. I cried for my sorrow and my loss. Yet he'll be rejoicing soon...so these tears are for me, not him. He'll be fine. -smile-
I love you, Uncle Ronnie! I'm going to miss you!!!
******
******
Here is today's post from my wife:
Final Farewell
Current mood: numb
I said what I believe to be my last goodbye to my uncle yesterday. Hospice has been coming in and last Friday, they changed his life expectancy from another 5 months to 2 weeks. Big change there. It was a devastating blow to the family...although in my heart, I already knew it wouldn't be 6 months to begin with. Cancer, especially in the liver, does not wait that long.
So, yesterday after church and lunch I took the kids on a drive. Drove them around to see the tornado mess...still floors me how bad Newburgh is... and decided to stop by and see my uncle. Two weeks will pass sooner than I realize. What I didn't expect was the drastic change from last week to this week.
Last Saturday he was weak, but still able to move about pretty well. He was talking to us and carrying on conversations. Yesterday, just the mere act of breathing was labored. He sat quietly in his chair. He stared blankly at the floor...glancing every once in a while at the cigarette in his hand to make sure the ash hadn't fallen. His medication is increased, but even Hospice said that he's so stubborn, he'll keep his mind until the last breath. His eyes were very dark and sunken. His skin yellow. His body thin and frail. I'm not sure how much weight he's lost in the last month...but if I were to guess I'd say probably 40 pounds... 40 that he really didn't have to lose.
He had finished a popsicle about 5 minutes before we arrived. We hadn't been there long (maybe another 5 minutes) when he had to get to the bathroom to throw it up. Nothing he eats stays down. Nothing. I just sat there by my cousin...sad. She said she didn't believe he would even make it 2 more weeks. He's been deteriorating at a rate that's hard to believe. It's really the best for him...less suffering...less pain. But it sucks! Apparently he still has some humor left in him. He told my cousin that he's ready and ok to die...it's just getting there that's killing him! -soft smile-
By the time he's coming back out, I decide it's time we leave. He needs his rest. I hug him as he passes me. I tell him, "I love you, Uncle Ronnie." to which he responsds, "I love you too, Dee." And that's when it hit me...I knew I had just seen my uncle for the last time. That was our goodbye.
I broke the rule. I cried. I cried for my sorrow and my loss. Yet he'll be rejoicing soon...so these tears are for me, not him. He'll be fine. -smile-
I love you, Uncle Ronnie! I'm going to miss you!!!
******
posted by MidwestMedic at 21:32
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